


Side Fusion Drabbles

by yaboyrobin



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Any relation ship can be read as platonic or romantic, Deceit's snakes, Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, cursing, except r/mr/m ya nasties, fan fusions, inordinant use of dashes instead of commas, probably out of character sides, remus weirdness, sex mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboyrobin/pseuds/yaboyrobin
Summary: They could fuse, Steven Universe style. Not two people, not one person, the whole shpeal. This is moments with the fusions in their element, with the other sides trying to make sure they don't do anything stupid.-Basically just some short fusion drabbles I'll do occasionally.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	1. Truesdale Colors

Remus slammed his room door behind him so hard it didn’t shut properly, it just swung back out slightly with a creak. He bounded down the hall, before screeching to a halt in front of his brother’s highly decorated bedroom door. He knocked rapidly, grinning wildly.

“Bro!” Remus called out, waving his arms excitedly, “Open up! I have the greatest idea since _ketchup socks!_ I think even you’ll like this one!” He waved a journal in one of his hands. Though, the journal could barely be called that. The covers were two dvd cases of porno films with barbed wire binding the two together. In between, there were no pages bound to the book. Rather, various loose leaf of differing sizes- from too small to far too big- were crammed in there.

Remus rocked a few moments before pounding on the door again. Remus knew better than to enter without Roman’s permission. Even he wasn’t crazy enough to risk walking in on his brother naked. _Eugh._ “I know you’re in there!” Remus called again, “You said you had a _‘grand adventure’_ today!” Grand adventure meant imagination. And if he was in the imagination, he’d hear the knock.

There was silence for a few moments. Minus Remus’s tapping foot. He puffed a moment, placing his hands on his hips, “You know, it’s really rude to ignore me like this! Don’t make me start singing the song that never ends-!” Remus paused before grinning, “Actually, that’s not a bad idea-!” Remus cleared his throat, pulling his breath freshener out of his pocket and puffing a few sprays _(mmmm owl’s poo),_ taking a deep breath, and-!

“What are you doing?” 

Remus jumped at the voice behind him, seeing Virgil walking by from his own room. The emo side had headphones around his neck, one hand on them like he had just taken them off, and his phone in his other hand.

“ _Virgie!~_ ” Remus cooed and pounced the other, going to wrap his arm around the other’s neck fondly. Virgil ducked away however, and crossed his arms. “I was trying to show my brother this great idea I had involving a fishing rod and-” Remus shook his head, “I won’t spoil it for you- but it’s good! But my brother is being _**INSANELY RUDE!**_ ” Remus shouted at the closed door with a stomp, pouting like a spoiled child.

“ _Erm-_ ” Virgil’s eyes flicked to the staircase down the hall a moment before rolling his shoulders uncomfortably, “Roman-..... Isn’t in there.” 

“What!” Remus turned back to Virgil with shocked eyes, “But he mentioned he had an adventure at dinner last night!” 

“That got,” Virgil stuffed his hands into his pockets, hunching a bit, “ _rescheduled._ ” 

“Well where is he!” Remus stomped again, “I have to show him this! It’s my best idea since- since-” Remus thought a moment, “Eating the dawn dish tabs instead of the tide pods!”

“He’s….. _Kinda_ downstairs,” Virgil pointed to the stairway, before wrinkling his nose, “But you probably don’t want to-”

“Thanks Virgil!” Remus waved before going full speed at the stairs, ending at the bottom with a resounding **THUD**. 

“ _Brother!_ ” He called, grinning wildly, “I was told you were down here! I have the best idea for-” He cut himself off when he finally registered the scene in front of him. 

The living room was a mess, to say the least. Papers and books were strewn about, a few floating in the air with some vague telekinesis. The smell of chalk and dry erase marker filled the air, which pointed out the large triple threat board in the corner of the room. A third whiteboard, a third chalkboard, and a third cork board with various things pinned to it. Patton stood with a tray of sweets at the entrance of the kitchen, a concerned frown on his face at the main focus of the room.

A fusion of two sides stood in front of the board, muttering to himself and grabbing notes out of the air occasionally. 

The fusion had unkempt hair, which was odd considering both sides liked to keep their hair neat. They had a large white lab coat, which split into a sort of tuxedo tail "V" at the end. Under the coat, was a vibrant purple ruffled shirt- the ruffle of the sleeves popping out of the end of the coat sleeves. His bottom was a hugging pencil skirt that puffed into ruffles at the bottom, with booted heels at the bottom for shoes. The fusion's face had circular, thin glasses over vibrant purple eyes - and freckles dotted occasionally on his face. 

It seemed Roman and Logan had formed the fusion known as Truesdale at some point this morning. And weren't budging apart any time soon. 

Remus made a strangled noise of confusion and exasperation at the scene. Patton looked up from his own staring, finally noticing Remus. The fatherly side shrugged with a worried but still accepting face. Remus frowned dangerously. He hated seeing Roman fused when he wasn’t. It made him feel something…. _Icky_. Like he was jealous that his brother had all these friends and he didn’t! _Hah_! Well, Remus would just have to split the two up. Then they’d be on even ground-

Remus approached the fusion, ducking under a few notes as they floated by. "Bro?" He tried poking the dual side, only to earn a vague swat away with a muttered, _"I'm your half brother."_ Remus pouted at this and shoved the fusion's shoulder, "Come on, bro! I wanted to show you somethin’!" The smelly side produced his journal proudly, grinning, "It's my best idea since fried sandals with _mayonnaise_!" The idea was the first thing on Remus’s mind to split the two. Logan would want to at least look at it while Roman would want to burn it. A simple clashing of opinions! The perfect plan.

Truesdale barely flicked his bright eyes over to Remus before motioning to the floating notes, "Please put all concerns into the _'in'_ pile. I'm in the middle of a breakthrough when it comes to understanding fantasy logic!" The fusion pointed to a half-hazardly tacked on image of Wile E. Coyote painting one of those tunnels that only let the Road Runner through, or trucks to flatten the Coyote. "If I could recreate this type of portal in the imagination, think of the short video applications!" Truesdale motioned to the notes on the black board- which were so scrawled, it was illegible. 

Remus frowned and tugged at the lab coat in an attempt to get the other’s attention now instead of later, “Come on, bro! Pay attention to me! It isn’t like you to fuse with the nerd-” He grinned and made a smoochy face. When in doubt, tease. “Or are you two in _loooove_? Are you two having sex in there right now? Gosh, Roman, I didn’t know you were into exhi-”

A note thwaped Remus in the back of the head, causing him to cry out in offence. “I don’t have time for your musings, Remus.” Truesdale pointed to a paper on the corkboard, “We have a strict schedule to keep to in order to make this the most advantageous fusion time. We will defuse later, and most certainly _not_ be smooching when we do.”

Remus stomped, angry at the brush off, “You little- _Pay attention to me this instant_! Or- Or _I’ll bring up an embarrassing secret!_ ” Maybe he would anyway. Roman was really ticking him off-

Remus made a noise of offence as he was lifted with Truesdale’s telepathy and placed back onto the stairs. “You’re being a brat, Remus.” He waved him off, “You’re in a time out.”

“Time out?! You can’t-” a wall of notes blocked Remus as he tried to enter the living room again. He banged on the wall, shouting, **_“YOU CAN’T DO THAT! NO FAIR!”_ **

He heard Patton mutter to the other, “Be nice, kiddo. Please? You know Remus can’t be ignored and he’ll just come back worse-”

“He was interrupting us, Patton,” Truesdale sighed, “You know how we feel about that. Besides, Remus can go. Bother someone else.” 

Remus stomped at the dismissal. _Truesdale!_ He hated this fusion the most, he decided. He thought Primadona was bad- nope. This was ten times worse. Remus stormed back upstairs with a huff. Full of himself, overly pushy, little bitch! Two could play at that game- He stomped up to Deceit’s room and slammed the door open. Deceit looked up from reading aloud to two snakes- a red one named Sapphire and a blue one named Ruby. Deceit marked his page, closed the book, and adjusted in his large leather chair, “ _Yesssss?_ ” 

“Roman’s fused!” Remus stomped indignantly, face red with anger.

Deceit rolled his eyes and leaned to rest his check on his fist boredly, “Which one?”

“ ** _Truesdale_**!” Remus motioned at the hallway, “They’re being the worstest! Even worster than when Primadona made everyone listen to their stupid poem about clouds!” 

Deceit sighed, “Well what do you want me to do about it? I _totally_ mesh _abso-fuckin- **wonderfully** _ with all the other’s fusions. Considering how the others feel about me.” 

Remus look at Deceit before grinning wildly and offering his hand, “Fuse with me! We’ll show Truesdale a thing or two and Roman will be so upset with us he’ll have no choice but to defuse and-”

“ _Noooo_ -” Deceit held his hands up in surrender and leaned away from Remus’s hand, “No _thank you_. I’m perfectly fine here by myself. Reading to my snakes.”

“What!” Remus growled, “Why not?! I **_love_** being Cypher with you!”

“Yeah, but….” Deceit shrugged idly, “I don’t want to. I like being me right now. Don’t feel like l need anyone to be more. I guess unlike that brother of yours.” Deceit chuckled to himself, “That’s a good one. You could use that if you wanna break 'em up. Roman would get stupid offended and-”

Remus scoffed angrily, “He seems real set on bein Truesdale right now. I tried everything! Suggesting they were in love…. Well, that was it- but that usually works!” 

Deceit shrugged and opened his book back up, “Then I dunno what to tell you. Go. Bother someone else.” 

Remus huffed and stormed out, sitting at the top of the stairs. Fine! No one wanted him right now. That- that was _fine_! He would just keep his brilliant idea to himself, Truesdale could go marry himself, Deceit could go _fuck_ himself, he himself could just crawl in a hole and-

“Remus?” Patton frowned as he paused climbing the stairs, “I came to check on you. You doing okay? Truesdale was being a bit _mean_ -”

Remus scoffed and crossed his arms angrily, turning away with a huff. “I’m fine! Perfectly pterodactyl-y!” He side eyed Patton angrily, “What do you care, though? It’s not like you care about me.”

Patton sighed and sat next to Remus carefully, “I do care, Remus I just…. Show it bad towards you guys.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the stinky side, “I’m sorry Truesdale was being rude toward you. Is there anything I can do? Bake you some fish cookies maybe?”

Remus paused before grinning devilishly. He’d never tried it with Patton _but_ \- “I have an idea-”

-

Trusedale looked up at a thump at the bottom of the stairs. He saw a side recovering from a tumble down the stairs. He sighed, not really registering the appearance of the other. How do they survive without him, sometimes? He walked over to the other, “Are you alright? You guys need to look where you’re going. We might be imaginary, but we can still take damage if-” He paused, truly seeing the side for the first time.

The other was struggling to get up, legs shaking in a newborn deer fashion. He supported himself on the railing with both hands, looking at the floor to find their footing. Their outfit was a mess- as most first time fusions are. A clash of really bad comedian and ballerina. Their upper half was a bright orange button up with a highly saturated purple, forest green, and orange plaid bow tie at the neck, the collar popped up around their neck. Over it was a blue vest, with no buttons or zippers to speak of. Though it had a lot of pins over their heart. A smiley face, a heart with a frog in it, a trash can, and other various pins. Their sleeves were rolled back slightly to show their wrists, and were pinned back with cookie shaped cufflinks. Their bottom half was a pastel pink tutu with neon green and neon yellow striped tights with spiky, black and pink punk boots at the bottom.

The fusion looked at Truesdale with mismatched eyes- one blue and one green- and grinned a sharp-toothed grin. "I'd say I _fell_ for you, but you're not really my type. So I'll just say I've _tumbled_ into your life."

Truesdale blinked owlishly before a distorted clash of Roman and Logan's voices came from him, overlapping.

"̶P̸a̷t̸t̵o̷n̴?̸ R̷e̵m̴u̶s̷?̸!"̶ ̴

Truesdale unfused in that instant, pulling the two apart to look at the new fusion owlishly. Reman growled and drew his sword. "Unhand our happy pappy this _instant_ , you **_fiend_**!" He went to charge the _thing_ before Logan put a hand in front of Roman. 

"No, this is _fascinating_! We've never seen a fusion with Remus except Cypher- I have to take notes-" Logan summoned a notepad and pen, leaning close with rapt attention, "Tell me, what's it like? Do you serve a function? Is it uncomfortable? Do you smell anything differently, because I've always wondered-"

Before the new fusion could reply to any of it, Roman squawked, "You're alright with this- this brute forcing Patton with him?! This is obviously a Malachite situation- look at him!" Roman motioned at all of the other, who looked at himself and blushed. He was a little messy, sure, but was he…. _Bad?_

"Roman, this obviously wasn't forced," Logan sighed, "We can't force fusion, remember? It has to be consensual. Patton obviously agreed to this." 

Roman sputtered, "Why on earth would he agree to this?! This is- _gross_! And he doesn't even like Remus-" 

"Well I wouldn't-" the fusion tried to pipe up quietly, only to be interrupted.

"Roman, you're being dramatic," Logan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. 

"I don't think you're taking this seriously enough!" Roman stomped, motioning at the fusion again.

"I think you're taking this too seriously because of how you feel towards Remus-" Logan sighed and shook his head, "This is why we don't form Truesdale often. You always take things too dramatically."

Roman ruffled, "Well, at least I'm trying to _fix_ this instead of being so- so- _Logan-y_!" He scoffed, "I'm too angry- I can't even think of a proper nickname!" 

" _Guys_ -" the fusion whimpered, shrinking. He didn't like this. He didn't like the fighting. The Patton part of him wanted them all to get along.

Logan laughed, "At least I'm looking at this from an analytical standpoint. You're just-"

Roman growled, "You're trying to make this into a dumb experiment! You're not even looking at the picture in front of you!"

Logan grit his teeth angrily, "Well you aren't either-"

 **_"ENOUGH!"_ ** A booming voice came from the stairs. Everyone turned to see Deceit looking at them all.

Deceit crossed his arms, "I came down here to see what the big deal was of Truesdale being here- but I come to find you two making this lovely gentleman very _comfortable_ in his first existence."

Logan and Roman looked at each other and then at the uncomfortable fusion. They both sheepishly blushed.

"Apologies," Logan coughed, "I just- wanted to get Roman to see that you weren't bad."

Roman crossed his arms uncomfortably, "I admit, I'm being a bit…. Rude towards you two. I guess I'll…. Give this a chance."

The fusion smiled shyly and shrugged, "It's fine. I guess you could say my entrance was _explosive_. Get it? With how explosive the fight you two had was?" He chuckled awkwardly.

Logan frowned and made a note on his notepad, "Likes…. To…. Make…. Puns…. Slash…. Jokes." 

The fusion giggled and Deceit rolled his eyes, "Why don't one of you get Virgil and we can gather around and get to know the new guy." 

"I'll do it," Roman offered, climbing up the stairs with a sidle around Deceit and the new being. 

Logan smiled and offered a hand to the other, "So. Do you have a name?"

The fusion paused before taking Logan's hand with a grin, " _Gaius_."

"....It's pronounced guy-us." Logan blinked at him.

"I like it Gay-us!" The fusion cackled warmly. 

This would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truesdale - Roman + Logan fusion  
> Primadona - Virgil + Roman fusion  
> Cypher - Remus + Deceit fusion  
> Gaius (pronounced gay-us) - Remus + Patton fusion


	2. Not the Villain They Appear to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written before the newest episode so no Deceit name.

Virgil smirked to himself as he finished his latest round of the game on his phone. Logan had been complaining about how he couldn't beat this level yet, and Virgil had just beat it before the so-called "smartest side". Hah! He had to go brag-

...Or maybe not. Virgil rolled his shoulders uncomfortably at the thought. Logan would probably get frustrated and bury himself in something he would regret later. And he wouldn't talk to Virgil ever again. Or look at him. Or have anything to do with him ever again. 

Maybe Virgil could gently offer to help him through it. Pretend he himself hadn't done it yet. He wasn't above lying through omission, he just didn't want Thomas to do it. Logan would either reject his help, or accept it. Most likely reject it. Reject him. Reject everything about him. Make it so the others rejected him and he'd be stuck with the others again and-

Virgil took a deep breath and sighed. He needed some tea to calm down. Lavender would do it. Or at least help him sleep it off. He rolled off his bed and trotted his way out of his room, headed downstairs. He paused in his usual spot, however, as there was something unusual before him. 

In front of him, was nothing. It seemed that the furniture had been magicked away for…. Whatever reason. The only thing left was a phone in the middle of the floor. Virgil cocked a brow and pulled out his phone, opening his messaging app and texting the group chat. 

_ Yo, what happened to the living room? _

He heard a familiar custom text tone, a Wilhelm scream, from the cell. Logan's then. Huh. He normally didn't leave his stuff in such an… odd place. Well, that was worrying. 

He glanced around the rest of the room, trying to find evidence of what the logical side is doing. Virgil found nothing in the immediate vicinity and sighed. Maybe the others would know-

He looked up at another text tone on the kitchen counter. A kazoo playing the first few notes of Spooky Scary Skeletons. He sidled his way to it and saw that Remus's phone was set in a bowl of fruit, with each piece having a bite taken out of it already. 

Virgil's nose scrunched up. There were two problems with this picture. One, this bowl of fruit was wax. Remus would have an upset stomach later, and he would get cranky. And he was a bitch to deal with cranky. Two, Remus and Logan seemed to be doing something together.

Remus probably initiated it, Virgil thought as he carefully plucked the phone of the bowl and set it to the side. Which meant this was probably at least a little dangerous, whatever it was. But not dangerous enough that Logan would shoot it down. So, that meant they probably needed adult supervision. Eugh. He hated being the adult in this situation. But, it seemed everyone else was doing whatever since they hadn't replied to the text yet. That left two questions:

Where were they and what the fuck were they doing? 

"Virgil!" A strange, cracking voice came from his left, making Virgil snap his head over to the other. Oh no- Please don't tell him-

Yup. Virgil internally cursed all the curse words he knew. 

The Professor was here, standing in the hallway and coming from the bathroom. 

Professor Quest Afterthought Risks, better known as "The Professor" or "Risks" (Professor Risks if you were being formal) was the worst fusion of Logan's, in Virgil's opinion. Sure, Truesdale was a full-of-himself asshole sometimes, but he at least saw lines and didn't cross them. Risks wasn't that. Risks saw lines and did everything he could to cross them, going so far as to do entire Olympic jumps over them. 

The fusion himself stood ramrod straight, giving himself the illusion of height over the others. Even if they were all about the same height. Risk's eyes were covered by turquoise tinted goggles, making it impossible to tell their color. The goggle's strap on the left side of his head had a dark blue-green bow just by his ear, like it was pinned to his hair. His side burns were white, like the one strip in Remus's hair. The outfit he wore had the aesthetic of  _ "disco scientist" _ \- bright, but somewhat serious. His upper half was a dark green, glittery sort of lab coat. The sleeves were very draped, flopping as he moved. The collar of his coat was popped up, like he was trying to be cool. Or just hadn't smoothed it. They had a black undershirt underneath the coat, with an odd design of a brain with a knife in it. Their emblem. The tail of the coat puffed out, being almost frilly, trailing to the back of his knees. Risk's had a dark blue tie, just like Logan's, around his waist like a belt. Only, not going through the pants loops. His pants were dark turquoise, glittery bell-bottoms that ended with heeled, dark blue dance shoes. 

The Professor grinned a dangerous sharp-toothed grin and opened his arms at the anxious side, "I'm glad to see you, Virgil! I need an assistant for this experiment!"

Virgil's eyebrows shot up before he shook his head. No way was Risks dragging him into an experiment again. He learned his lesson when Risks tried to cross a racoon and an octopus. " _Nooo-_ " Virgil's eyes shifted, trying to think of an excuse, "I'm- uhm-" Come on, think Virgil! He didn't want to get clawed by eight tiny human-y hands again. An idea popped in his head. Why he was there in the first place. "I'm making tea." Virgil pointed to a box of tea that had been left on the counter. 

"Oh!" Risks perked slightly, sashaying over to the tea box, "Let me help you!" 

Virgil sweat more as he pulled his phone out and texted the others quickly. _ "Risks is here. Help."  _ He then pocketed the phone and walked over to Risks. "Sooooo-" He peaked over the fusion's shoulder to watch his hands as he dumped way too many tea leaves into a mug that looked like a frog, "What, uh…... whatcha doin' here, Professor?"

"Oh I'm glad you asked!" Risks turned, clasping his hands together excitedly, "Logan was going over his notes on our fusions, and realized he didn't really have notes on me! Since we tend to get oh-so distracted during our fusion sessions. So! Logan suggested we fuse and wait for someone to take notes on us! And here we are!" Risks did some jazz hands before spinning back to the cup. 

Virgil looked to the living room and cleared his throat. "And uh…. What happened to all the furniture?" 

Risks waved him off and hummed, "Oh, I came up with a great experiment while I was waiting! I was going to test the effects of gravity on someone going the velocity of the highest speed of our ceiling fan. Needed a clear space for that!" 

Virgil nodded slowly, "But, you're not gonna do that while someone is here, right?"

"Oh no, I still am!" Risks chuckled, "I simply must be in my natural state if Logan's notes are going to be accurate. And my natural state is experimenting!" 

"Makes sense." Virgil nodded and pocket texted the group,  _ "som1 hurry up and get here- theyre planning somthing dangerous" _ .

"So!" Risks summoned a teapot and poured water into the mug, turning to Virgil and letting the mug overflow as he talked. "When you finish your tea, will you take notes on us? I must have those updated notes!" 

Virgil sweated, shaking in his tennis shoes. Oh boy. How not to hurt Risks's feelings here. Did the guy even have feelings? Virgil wasn't sure he wanted to find out with Risks being upset at him. Could be dangerous. "Uh-" Virgil's eyes darted around a moment, "Well, Risks, I- uh-" 

"Oh, you weren't kidding," came from the living room suddenly. Both men looked and saw a confused looking Deceit with his phone in his hand. Virgil's brows furrowed and he looked at his phone. Deceit wasn't in the group chat- Virgil had texted the snake on accident, his name being next to the group chat name. Great.

"Dee Dee!" The fusion grinned at the snake. and stopped pouring the water, a large puddle being left behind. "I'm glad you're here to witness this! Two note-takers is better than one!" 

" _Yes._ _Certainly_." Deceit nodded, lying through his teeth. "But, uh, before Virgil and I….. _cooperate_ with this _surely_ worthwhile endeavor, do you mind if the two of us speak? In private?" 

Risks nodded, "Of course! Go right ahead! Maybe you can discuss who will write down what aspects of myself!" Risks kept talking as Virgil sped walked over to Deceit. "One of you should definitely write down notes on the experiment. And the other can write on me personally! Figuratively. Unless you want to write your notes on me! But that feels counterproductive since I won't be here forever!" 

Deceit nodded with a smile before turning away to whisper at Virgil, "Okay, what the literal fuck is he doing here? He's the _best_ and Logan _knows_ that we all _love_ keeping him on a leash so he doesn't hurt himself."

Virgil sighed, running both his hands through his hair and letting them rest on his shoulders, "He said somethin' about Logan needing notes for Risks in his fusion notes. He wants us to take 'em apparently while he runs an experiment."

" _Joyous_ ," Deceit grumbles, "Taking care of a bruised Remus after all this definitely sounds delightful. How do we get them to _stay together_?"

Virgil bit at his thumbnail a moment before shrugging, "I dunno! How do we normally get them to defuse?"

"Well if we unbalance them, that would be the _worst_ option. What would get one of them to pull away from the other….?" Deceit pondered a moment before he and Virgil both looked at each other. They shuddered. "Oh, _gross_ , did you have the same thought?"

"Unfortunately," Virgil sighed and offered his hand, "It's our best option."

" _Eugh_ ," Deceit took Virgil's hand gently, "I'm going to _enjoy_ this immensely."

-

Risks hummed as he watched the mug he had set over the stove burner. Virgil still wanted his tea! So he'd boil the water he'd poured. However, his attention was stolen by a bright light out of the corner of his eye. He looked and his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe his bespectacled eyes.

Before him was a fusion no one had seen since Thomas was a teenager. Villain. The man looked at himself appreciatively, humming in delight. The man had proper posture, but didn't stand ramrod straight like Risks did. He had a hat, a wide-brimmed thing with a sheer yellow veil attached that obscured his face. The man's face was split in two like Deceit's but was instead a darker patch of skin instead of scales. The other half of his face was obscured via long bangs. Longer than any side had. He had piercing red eyes, and flawless mascara and purple eyeshadow. He had a white cloak with a purple stripe around the bottom pinned around his body, covering most of himself. His outfit, not seen very well through the small gap in his cloak, was a slightly shredded purple shirt, grey pants that ended mid-calf, and black boots. 

Villain hummed in delight, flaring his cloak a moment and showing his black gloves. "Ohh this outfit's updated. Must be because Virgil upgraded." He summoned a cane with a scorpion as the top and sashayed over to the kitchen counter. When he stopped, he crossed his leg over the other and rested both hands on the cane. Smirking. "Hello there, Risk." He looked at the water and tea leaves everywhere. "Tisk tisk! You seem to have made a mess of things. Patton for sure will give you a talking, and make sure your ear rings." 

Risks twitched a moment before scowling, "What are you two doing together? I thought Virgil hated fusing with Deceit." He paused a moment before mumbling, "Maybe Virgil changed his mind. Be nice."

"Well to be perfectly frank-" Villain motioned boredly, "Virgil and Deceit were hoping that my appearance would tear you two apart with a yank." 

Risks fluffed up like a bird, "Excuse us?!" He pressed an offended hand to his chest, "Virgil and Deceit love us together! We're the best fusion!" 

Villain yawned, humming coyly, "That is what you think. But Virgil never wants to make a stink. So, he pretends to appreciate you. And Deceit, well…. I thought you knew!" Villain frowned, almost mockingly. "Poor little Quest. Whenever others think of you, they get stressed."

"No, they don't!" Risks growled, "They love me just as much as Roman loves looking in the mirror-" he turned to himself a moment, whispering, "Be nice," before turning back and growling again, "They'd never make your horrible self just to tear me apart!"

"Oh, but they did." Villain sighed. "They knew to lie is something I forbid. So, they took the cowards way out and made me! This is, unfortunately, how I came to be." He turned a moment, frowning, "They made me the villain of all this, as that is my name. Even if I do it with shame."

"Because you are a villain!" Risks stomped childishly, "You always say the worst stuff!"

"Ah ah-" Villain waved a finger, as if admonishing Risks, "I say what is true only. Whether it be harsh or gentle- I say it all boldly." 

"That's barely a rhyme you little-!" Risks seemed to lunge at Villain before a flash separated the two sides. Logan was holding an angry Remus back, wide-eyed and trying to calm Remus.

"Oh good!" Villain clapped joyously, "You two were planning to launch yourselves off the ceiling fan- and probably would…have." Villain paused to let his rhyme finish awkwardly, adjusting his cloak in confidence.

Logan adjusted his glasses, blushing, "Ah- thank you for stopping us, Villain. We would have been hurt and sore after that. Even if we're imaginary."

"No it would have been fun!" Remus stomped with a pout, " _The funnest_! But dumb old _caped crusader_ had to but in and ruin our fun!" 

"Yes, just like when Virgil had to rescue you two from a diving board over a shark tank. And what did Deceit get for helping patch up your wounds? No thanks!" Villain frowned with his hands on his hips before adjusting his cloak, "Well, anyway. I'm going to enjoy existing before these two are at each other's throats again. It's always unfortunate these two can't see eye to eye."

There was a pause before Logan cocked a brow, "No rhyme?"

"I erm-" Villain blushed, pulling his hat lower so he didn't have to look at Logan, "couldn't think of one for again."

"Pen," Logan offered, "There is also zen, den, then-"

"Men!" Remus offered with a grin, enjoying butting in. 

"Yes, men." Logan nodded, "There is also other options if you instead pronounce it ah-gain instead of ah-gen. Such as pain, rain, twane-"

"Yes, thank you, I get it." Villain ruffled, "There were options, I'll admit. Leave me alone. I don't like feeling prone." Villain turned, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy a picnic for one. Before this fusion session is done."

Logan followed after Villain, "Let me join you! My notes on you haven't been updated since Thomas came out. I'd adore getting to know you better."

"Hey wait-!" Remus whined as he followed Logan, "We aren't gonna finish our experiment?! No fair! Logie! Come _ooooon-_!" 

"Oh, joy, I seem to have shadows." Villain breathed a moment, "Very well, I suppose I can make places for three and see how it goes. Come along, before I change my mind." Villain continued onwards, not bothering to rhyme the last sentence. He'd figure it out later. 

"Ah good!" Logan summoned a notebook, "Now, about the rhyming-"

_"Please don't ask about the rhyming,"_ Villain groaned, trying to ignore the cackle of Remus. This would be a long lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Quest Afterthought Risk - Logan + Remus fusion  
> ??? "Villain" - Janus + Virgil fusion


End file.
